Why Can’t She Have 14 Kids?!
Written by: Kim Sawyer
I’ve been following the story about the California mom who just had octuplets. She previously had 6 kids, but with the birth of the octuplets, she now has 14 children. There has been major publicity around her concerning these births. Namely, because she had the children via in-vitro fertilization. She is being called selfish, a bad mom, etc. because she now has all of these kids. My response to this is so what? So what she has all of these kids? If she’s supporting them, loving them, providing for them, so what?
Look, I just had my first child and it was via in-vitro fertilization. So obviously, I think in-vitro is a wonderful thing. But now, because of the California mom, people are starting to wonder if in-vitro should be regulated. I think if they are her eggs and she froze them, but decided to use them, where is the harm? People are saying she should be ashamed for doing this and it was wrong of the fertility clinic to implant so many embryos. Here’s the bottom line with the implanting of embryos: parents who are going through in-vitro want to increase their chances of the embryos successfully implanting. So, if they are given the option to implant numerous embryos, they are fully aware that it increases their chance of becoming pregnant, which is the goal of going through in-vitro fertilization.
Here’s another thing to think about. What’s wrong with wanting to have more kids? You have people choosing all the time to abort a pregnancy. Why can’t people make the choice to have kids, regardless of the method?
Tags: 14 kids, California mom has octuplets, in-vitro fertilization
February 9th, 2009 at 10:45 am
Good for her, if she wants kids that’s fine. As long as she takes care of them. What about the Duggar family they have 18 kids. She’ll just get show on TLC. You know I’m right. Here’s something I want to never see again…. Pregnant Man. Seriously? Yeah not a guy stop calling her that.
February 9th, 2009 at 12:14 pm
LOL! TLC just may do that. Heck, the $ she gets from that show will definitely help her take care of all those kids. So I say bring it on!
The “Pregnant Man” doesn’t exist. Enough said.
February 9th, 2009 at 12:22 pm
Kim, if there is a problem for me, it is not the process, even if she would have had them one at a time nine months apart, I think the concern is: is a single woman, with six kids, without a job, living with her mother, incurring a 1.5 to 3 million dollar hospital bill to have eight more kids half a sandwich short of a picnic? It just doesn’t make good sense regardless of her reasons for wanting them. I saw a psychologist interviewed about the issue and the one thing that stuck out in my mind is her comments about the kids not being able to receive the full parental attention ever child requires. I understand and back this point up with the knowledge that my daddy is from a family of 12. He is next to the baby and his mother “assigned” him to one of the older sisters and it became her responsibility to raise/help raise him. To this day, in her eighties, she still calls my 74 year old dad her baby. Was that fair? Guess what? That same Auntie of mine only had one child of her own!
My grandmother only had one set of twins in that 12. So they were spread out a little bit. At least with the exception of two, when one was born they got the full attention and time needed to be babies, as the baby! Not one of these kids is going to get that special feeling of being the baby and being doted on for even a brief period. Sadly to say, once they come home, I can’t imagine the day to day being anything but cycles of feedings and changings and laundry and doctor’s visit and basically, a hardship of just trying to keep up! Bottom line, is that fair to any child?
Kim imagine how much time and attention you give to K. Now spread that out between 13 others. Seriously, is that fair?
The other thing, early on it was reported that the mother was upset she hadn’t been offered a house, or van, or lifetime supply of pampers, etc. Uh….come one now. Yes, those things happened frequently to families of multiple births but if you were having them to fulfill some need you had because you were an only child (yes, I saw her in the interview with Ann Curry, I think it was Ann) who cares what people give you, you did it to satisfy that need for a large loving family right? And let’s face it, like Aaron said, she’ll have a TV show. It is just a matter of time!
Really this seems wrong on so many levels but hey, if she can handle the hospital bills and give them the love and attention they need, I guess, more power to her! Unfortunately, I think the children will suffer. There is just no way around that…
February 9th, 2009 at 12:46 pm
I agree that 14 children are a lot of kids for a single parent. But, I think the measuring stick is how did she do with her first 6 kids? Are they developing normally (physically and mentally)? I say this to say everyone’s different. Now, to want to be compensated in some way or another just because you have large family is wrong. I don’t agree with that, but if she can take care of those kids and provide love, who am I to say she is wrong for wanting a large family?
I do give my daughter tons of attention and love. I, personally, can’t imagine 13 more kids, but again I am much different than this mother who has 14.
Regarding your Dad, was he damaged from being “assigned” to one of your mom’s older sisters? Back then, people had huge famiilies all the time, but they had tons of help from family members. This lady is getting help from her parents. What’s wrong with that? Sometimes, it seems like the world is becoming a Bizarro world – where things that were wrong are now right and things that were right are now wrong. I just don’t understand it.
February 9th, 2009 at 1:15 pm
I don’t think my dad should have received any less attention from the person that chose to have him than the first one she chose to have or the second or third, etc.. By the time she got to him (and by the way, he was actually 12 because one died) and they thought he was going to be the last, how unfair is it to give him over to one of your older children as theirs to raise? Did he suffer, I’m sure he did. Were those type of things diagnosed or talked about back then, I’m sure they were not! Let’s be honest, is that an optimal childhood? To be raised by a sibling when you see your mother coming and going daily? Did you know this woman’s mother has publicly complained about her daughter and all the children she has? Publicly!!! Apparently her mother isn’t as on board as she is!
I remember a post before you had K, where you said you and Tom agreed on basically giving K anything she wanted. I imagine that is not going to be a problem for you and Tom and is very doable. And even if not spoken out loud, that is probably the desire of every parent out there. But now imagine this: take away Tom and his help and his finances, take away your job, add in 13 additional children, and every obstacle that comes with that whole scenario, would you still be able to say that feeling assured that you could even come close to doing that?
How can the measuring stick be how she treats her six children when they weren’t all born at the same time and got a little “me/baby time”, there were only six of them, and she had a job for most of those years. Now you more than double the new additions, don’t spread them out, and drop it on her at once! They live in a three bedroom home!!!
Kim I’m really surprised at your stance on this one. Maybe your stance comes from the negative talk about in-vitro. I too am a fan of in-vitro, I love, love, love it! And that is because of you and Tom and K but again I say, on so many levels, this does not make good sense! Bottom line is, it might not be “wrong” it is just does not make good sense and is cruel to the kids!
I still don’t think anyone’s option to have a child should ever be taken away, or their right to in-vitro, somebody should have just sat her down and talked to her though!
February 9th, 2009 at 1:41 pm
Yep, my stance comes strictly from the in-vitro side. As I stated earlier, this choice would not be one that I could live with, but everyone’s different. That’s really all I am saying. Just because you (not you personally, but in general) can’t do it, does not mean the other person can’t. Maybe she is misguided, but that does not say she won’t be a loving mother.
Oh, the comment about taking away Tom and his help and adding 13 more kids, I would STILL do everything in my power to ensure they were well-loved and taken care of and giving them what they want (within reason of course). That concept doesn’t change with me just because the number of kids change.
February 9th, 2009 at 1:53 pm
Wow! I was a single mom with two kids and a job and can remember using napkins for toilet paper and baby power when we ran out of deodorant! Maybe I am just non-typical and did something wrong. I think I had the loving part down pat but I can say, I got depressed from time to time because I knew other kids were getting more and were probably more properly cared for than mine, simply because I felt resources were available to those children, that weren’t available to mine. I wanted desperately to give my kids everything they wanted but couldn’t. My focus had to be on giving them the thing they needed. I worked two jobs more than once just to make ends meet! Did I mention that was with just two kids??? Lol.
I will back up and observe and try to reserve my opinion to see how this saga unfolds.
February 9th, 2009 at 7:41 pm
The chick has too many kids for her current circumstances. Period, point blank.
For someone her age, it is normal for the doctor to implant 2 embryos – that is two! They put 6 in her and two of them split. To make matters worse, the Beverly Hills doctor used a procedure that increased the possibility of pregnancy. The call for regulation comes from practices like this. Of course the procedure is a wonderful thing, but this is too much to me.
Tom Sawyers last blog post..Why Can’t She Have 14 Kids?!
February 10th, 2009 at 9:20 am
She has no job, no money, and virtually no help. She is on welfare for her six children. Even the formula and diaper people are staying away from this one. She has some mental issues and some serious back problems to boot. It was beyond irresponsible for her to have more children, but even more irresponsible of the doctor who made this possible. I worked in pediatrics for twenty years and I can almost guarantee they will all be placed in foster care within a year. I just spent time helping my daughter with her newborn and even with three of us caring for the baby we were all exhausted. I had three kids (five and under) and I couldn’t have done it on my own. This situation is in no way like the Duggars. I watched the episode where the girls went to help their future sister in law prepare for the wedding and the parents commented several times how much they were missing the help of the older girls. There’s also a big difference between having 18 kids one at a time as opposed to multiples. California will be raising these children and they can’t afford it.
February 10th, 2009 at 10:41 am
So I just read this lady used her disability checks for in-vitro. She saved them up to pay for the procedure, which is really expensive. I kind of hope she gets a TV show to help pay for her kids. You all may disagree with this, but if VH-1 can give Flavor Flav and New York a reality TV show, this lady might as well get one of those “WTH” type of shows.
February 10th, 2009 at 10:50 am
I hope to God she doesn’t fail but the other part of me says, no! Don’t give her a show or any kind of help except mental help, but then the kids would suffer.
February 13th, 2009 at 9:55 am
How would you feel if you were a taxpayer in California? Kaiser is already asking the state for help with the cost of these kids.The average cost for a preemies hospital stay is around 150,000 but that is if things go pretty well. Multiply that times eight and it’s mind boggling. My family is in California and their tax burden is already so high they can barely afford to live there. It’s one of the reasons we left. These children are the real victims in all of this. It’s already obvious that these sweet babies are not going into a good situation in any way. No one has the right to intentionally bring children into this world if they have to depend on others to take care of them. She is receiving disability for two or three of her other children and it’s a sure bet that at least three or four of these babies will be disabled as well. Once again, it comes down to responsibility or the sad lack of it. This woman needs psychiatric help and the doctor who did this has some serious explaining to do. I think it’s becoming apparent that she has a serious need to be noticed. Sad situation.
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February 13th, 2009 at 10:10 am
I think the doctor should have to kick in and help with these kids. To put that many embryos back is flat our reckless.
February 16th, 2009 at 6:46 pm
If it wasn”t obvious before, after the interview with Ann Curry, we ALL know this woman is not tightly wrapped but the Lord does have some reason for allowing her to have all these babies. I do believe she will need help from the State of CA and I’m extremely confused about the “father” of these babies, but (I’m not trying to be deep) we have GOT to pray for her.
December 29th, 2010 at 5:24 pm
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