The Biggest Business Deal Of Your Life – Guest Post
Written by: Tom Sawyer
Here at 7daybuzz we are always excited when one of our friends agrees to write something for us. In light of recent developments surrounding Tiger Woods, this post written by Nathan J. Bennett is timely and appropriate. We, as a society, are constantly changing our values, morals and beliefs. As a result, thoughts concerning marriage come up often because of actions which take place as a result of those changes. Here is one man’s take on marriage.
The Biggest Business Deal Of Your Life
Marriage is a social union or legal contract between individuals that creates kinship. Marriage is also an institution that is historically filled with restrictions. From age, to race, to sexual orientation, to gender, to social status, restrictions are placed on marriage by society for reasons of benefiting the children, passing on healthy genes, to keep property concentrated, or because of prejudice and fear. As we all know many married couples opt not to procreate, and as far as the paperwork is concerned marriage is a business contract.
Since the United States has separated church and state there are a few things I find troubling from legal aspect to marriage. Take away religion and marriage seems to me more of a business deal; investing your time, energy, and money into this deal to make your life better. There is nothing in law stating that you have to be married to have kids or have to be married to live with someone you care about. These are just traditions that we have kept since the church was in control. Now we don’t even need to say “Under God” in our pledge of allegiance because it may offend someone.
So why is it, two individuals of the same sex cannot enter into this deal? Not to say that the rest of society has to accept them as a married couple or view them in the same way as a man and woman who are married. But why can those two individuals get the same financial breaks as a man and woman who opt to get married. Many men and woman in this country get married for only financial gains. Sex, partnership, kinship and pro creation have nothing to do with the act for many married couples. This is indeed sad but it does happen.
Secondly another aspect of marriage that I think would deter many people from getting married legally is if there was an enforced prenuptial agreement that couples could opt out of. Most people do not go into marriage thinking that it is going to be over in less than 5 years, but more and more this is happening. If two members go into a marriage with sensible heads and are really committed to making the marriage work this should not be a problem. Let’s say by law if two members get divorced within ten years of getting married the prenuptial agreement comes into effect. After 5 years of being married a partial amount of the agreement comes into effect. If the marriage is so bad after only being married for two years then going back to your old lifestyle should not be a problem for you. Things acquired while being married are joint property but prior to entering into the legally binding contract you should have some degree of protection. At any time both members can create wills to make sure in unlikely event of their death all of their assets go to their significant other. For the individuals who don’t want this, they can choose to opt out of it prior to the marriage.
Since the Government has got involved with that matter of our life, only for the legal aspects we should in turn protect ourselves. This has nothing to do with religious, or social etiquette of the matter, just the legal aspect for everyone’s personal protection.
Tags: Marriage, marriage is a business deal, Prenuptial agreement, same sex marriage
December 15th, 2009 at 9:18 am
Interesting commentary. For me, I have to say I don’t look at marriage from a government perspective, from a legal perspective, or from society perspective. I look at it from a biblical perspective. Biblically speaking, when two people ges married, his become hers and hers become his. It’s no longer him and her — it’s them. If you notice, I’m not mentioning same sex marriages here – I don’t believe in that. Now having said all of that, I can understand what you’re saying, but I don’t agree with it. Nowadays, I think people get married for all the wrong reasons — a lot of them what you listed in your post (i.e. passing on genes, keeping property concentrated, making it a business deal, etc.). When one enters into a marriage with thoughts such as those, one is bound to get what they expect — not a whole lot! Does that make sense? See, I think people believe marriage is going to be easy. It’s not. I think the people who feel marriage is a business deal (no offense intended Nathan) do not realize that marriage is one of the ultimate committments that one can ever make! And if one is not ready for that committment, marriage shouldn’t be one of the options. In short, if one is not ready to handle the bad with the good, don’t get married. If one is not ready to be selfless, don’t get married. If one is not ready to be changed, don’t get married. I can go on and on, but I think the bottom line is if one can’t commit FULLY to the marriage and the person they’re marryied to, marriage may not be road for that person.
Again, interesting commentary.
.-= Kim Sawyer´s last blog ..The Biggest Business Deal Of Your Life – Guest Post =-.
December 15th, 2009 at 10:33 am
Kim, I totally agree with you, as far as the biblical perspective. That is not what I am talking about. I’m talking about that piece of paper you sign that has nothing to do with the bible, ceremony or sacrament of marriage. Back when the church worked hand and hand with the Government I completely understand. Now that there is a separation between the two as far as legal aspects it is not part of the bible. When I was in the military younger airmen used to get married just to get out of the dorms and receive more money. They both had boyfriend/girlfriend come over to their house all the time while their legal spouse was there. This is wrong, they are not married. They are just taking advantage of our legal system; they are not married by any means of what most consider marriage. The Government has also created protection by passing laws for individuals against banks, corporations, other individuals and our spouse (i.e domestic violence). Yet they neglect an individual’s biggest asset, our financial security. There was a time when society looked down on individuals who divorced their spouses, now it is very common. So as far as the legal aspect is concerned I believe in equality and since it is a legal binding contract enforced by law there should be some personal protection.
December 15th, 2009 at 12:22 pm
Yeah, I know — I understood what you were saying — nowadays, many people view marriage from a legal standpoint, thus the feeling one needs to protect themselves legally. I get that, I just don’t agree with it. I do agree with you that divorce is no longer ‘taboo’, that it is viewed as extremely common – and to some – a necessary means to an end. I just think it’s wrong to go into a marriage with the mindset that one has to protect their assets from the person whom they’ve vowed to love, through thick and thin. If that’s the person’s mindset from the onset, that person should not get married because they are already entering into the union on the wrong foot. Does that make sense? There are so many other legal ways to protect your assets.
.-= Kim Sawyer´s last blog ..The Biggest Business Deal Of Your Life – Guest Post =-.
December 17th, 2009 at 7:49 am
Nathan, I think marriage is the hardest task in the world! There are non-stop indescribable emotions that go into it. When you couple that with having to think about legal issues, I think it becomes a doomed relationship.
Where did calling marriage “an institution” come from? That could be how, when and where the problem began!
I agree with Kim and have said myself, these days marriage is like the $49.00 disposal microwave and ink cartridges. Back in the day when your microwave broke, you got it fixed. It used to be when you ran out of ink in your printer you got a new or refurbished ink cartridge. Now… with the technology to make things in a less expensive manner and without real quality, it is easier AND more cost effective to throw them away and get new ones! Same with marriage! Quality marriages deserve to be fixed/refurbished before throwing out! I’m not sure anyone goes into it these days 100% committed to staying FOREVER! A good friend of mine that is very spiritual/religious and was over 40 years when he finally decided to get married told me, if it doesn’t work, I will get a divorce. I was shocked he was going into with that attitude but understood. That just seems to be the mindset these days especially once the honeymoon phase is over.
Marriage itself can be overwhelming. The legal aspect of it is even more so. I believe once the legalities enter into marriage, all bets are off and those that may have had the opportunity to reconcile and work things out, won’t and don’t because the fight begins and the ugly comes out between the two parties/couple. I also believe it just isn’t the same when you go into a marriage with legalities already in place.
Did you know you can go to the library (I’m sure online too) and print out a legal document, pay $100.00, wait about 60 days (differs from state to state but I believe it is 60 days in Indiana) and be divorced? I guess protecting your heart is a lot harder than protecting yourself legally.
April 8th, 2010 at 10:28 am
Yeah you’re right….While i have my reservations I agree with you
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