Mother-In-Laws! Why Can’t We All Just Get Along!
Written by: Kathy Curry
(I am tired already just thinking about this issue)
We have probably all heard the phrase; you can tell how a man is going to treat his woman by seeing how he treats his mother. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!! That is how I feel about that.
It’s a shame when there is website after website aiding in the “how to” of dealing with a mother-in-law. Before you begin reading let me say, not all mother-in-laws are bad nor are they difficult to get along with but… let’s face it, if there are numerous websites on this issue, there’s probably a problem! The topic of mother-in-law woes is such a made fun of issue. Other than marriage itself, it is probably a stand up comedian’s favorite subject! Because I am still wet behind the ears (12 days shy of one year of marriage) I am going to steer away from my personal relationship with my mother-in-law, but suffice it to say, I can relate.
First let me say, I think the level of difficulty is greater with the son’s mother getting along with the daughter-in-law, than the daughter’s mother getting along with the son-in-law. Why are mothers of sons so attached to their baby boys? Why are there so many mamas’ boys out there? Why does a mother not think any woman is good enough for her son? Is it because one day when that little boy was around six years old, and the mother inadvertently heard her little precious tell his friend Johnny, “when I grow up I am going to marry my mommy” (as tears of joy and pride started to flow down her face), an unretrackable “ sign popped up that said, “stay away, he’s mine”! That is so unhealthy…and sad.
I dated a trucker. His mom did everything for him! You name it, she did it! All the stuff a woman/wife should do or he should do for himself. He would forego going to a movie with me to sit and watch TV with his mother. NEXT!
NOTHING is more unattractive than a mamma’s boy! And when that bond between them is unpenetratable, basically, you have lost. Unless you have settled within yourself, this is how it will be forever, and decide to live with it, run as fast as you can. Here’s the thing, no woman wants a man to cheat on her, but when it is another woman, at least you can fight the fight. At least you are somewhat on an even playing field. There are numerous things that you can do to spice up your relationship or improve yourself to keep him attracted to you. When your competition is your mother-in-law, how can you fight: a house coat with those huge pockets that always held just the right equipment, at the right time; or the best meatloaf in the world; or those ancient home furnishings and dusty pictures that bring back those warm and fuzzy feelings to him… etc!!! How can you compete! How can you make him realize the frustration of her wants and needs coming before your wants and needs?
I have only scratched the surface. I might have to do a part II on this one and talk about the stuff mother-in-laws say about the daughter-in-laws, and then the man comes home and repeats it to his woman. W-H-E-E-E-Y??????? Then he just stands there and waits for your reaction. Why do men pit their woman and mothers against each other? In the scheme of things, does it really matter what mommy-in-law dearest thinks! Oh… but for some reason, it does!!! Let’s talk about this one.
July 3rd, 2008 at 6:48 am
Hi,
I can relate to your post. I just don’t feel the love from my mother-in-law. Seems like whenever I go to visit, I am out numbered. She tends to hold up for her son. He can do no wrong. I say, you don’t live with him no more and he’s just not the perfect little angel. Don’t get me wrong, I love my husband. Just think he could stick up for me, once in a while in front of his mother. So I try to keep my distance from her. I just think, she could share some of that love with me. After all, I gave her 3 grandchildren.
July 3rd, 2008 at 10:07 am
Unfortunately, I have prior experience with this subject and it is true in some cases and not so true in others. I would think I may be considered a mama’s boy, but then again I’m the youngest.
My mother is no longer living, but she didn’t really care for my ex and probably with good reason. Now I can’t say for sure, but I think my mother would like my wife now. I think to some extent is has to do with the fact that we are still talking about two people getting along – sometimes people just don’t like each other.
On the other hand, I don’t have any problems with my mother-in-law, except for the fact that it seems like she thinks I can walk on water. It is all situational. I say this because I think the way my mother-in-law treats me is related to the fact that she has only one child and that child is (obviously) a girl. The closest thing to a son she has ever known is me so it may be a welcomed addition.
July 3rd, 2008 at 12:07 pm
My ex mother-in-law loved me until I divorced her baby boy. Now she HATES me even though he and I are still good friends. I will say that even though he was a momma’s boy she did still treat me really well while we were married. I can understand being upset about me leaving him too.
July 3rd, 2008 at 12:55 pm
K.C. sounds like you have an itch to scratch…….lol
What doe one do when the mother in law is better than the wife?
July 3rd, 2008 at 2:57 pm
yes, “mother-in-laws” is one of nature’s way of saying payback time…something we would turn into when our own sons marry… drat!
July 3rd, 2008 at 3:51 pm
Sure is a lot divorced folks on here……
July 3rd, 2008 at 3:57 pm
John, thanks for the laugh.
July 3rd, 2008 at 6:58 pm
John, John, John!
July 4th, 2008 at 2:07 am
Is it because John The Baptist forgot to say something about this relation in his Book?
July 4th, 2008 at 8:49 am
i’M TRYING TO LOOK AT THIS FROM A MOTHER IN LAWS PERSPECTIVE. SUMBODY GOT TO DEFEND THEM.
YA’LL IN HERE RAGGIN ON THEM BUT JUST ABOUT EVERYONE OF YOU IS DIVORCED. SO YOU TELL ME WHO WAS RIGHT? SEEMS LIKE THE MOTHER IN LAWS WERE RIGHT AFTER ALL HUH?
ALL THEIR KIDS WERE MARRIED TO A BUNCH OF LOW LIFES………???? POSSIBLY??? HMMM……
July 4th, 2008 at 8:50 am
YW………….
July 4th, 2008 at 8:54 am
As fireworks exploded overhead and symphony played, she repeatedly called his name…….
Yet he refused to take out the trash. MEN!
July 4th, 2008 at 8:55 am
John was smart…..He stayed out in the woods. Safe….with the wild animals.
July 4th, 2008 at 9:04 am
And while I’m on this subject…….
Good man marries a woman who don’t keep a clean house, nags all the time…nag nag nag! His momma knows the gurl is a drama queen and a shopaholic
Good woman marries a dude who has hits her, can’t keep a job.
Mother in law gonna get involved……..
Or one parent passes and the surviving parent remarries. The kids ain’t gonna accept the new momma in law. Most times the kids act look they married to the surviving parent and can’t keep their noses outta their business. The wanna just walk in the house without knocking and everything else. I’d change the locks and tell them negros to knock. In fact call first cause we might still be honey mooning….
Signed,
Your mother in law……..
July 4th, 2008 at 8:32 pm
John, your imagination and negativity is exhausting. Nobody has held you to the fire on this one. Please let me. Are you divorced? From the sounds of your personality, I would have to say yes. How many times and how many mother-in-laws have you experienced?
July 5th, 2008 at 9:33 am
I just keep on getting on the wrong train…………………………….
July 5th, 2008 at 11:00 am
You’re married if I recall…. How many times?
Let me also ask you this how do you like you mother in law? Well…?????
July 5th, 2008 at 9:13 pm
Kat,
I have to say that I do agree with you about mother-in-laws. I’m a married woman to a great man but I feel that my husband places my mother-in-law in our business way to much! To all mother-in-law out there. It is aways two sides to every story and then the truth. Not everything that your baby boy tells you is the truth yet because he is your child you’ll take his side every time. I wonder why? Is it fear that if you disagree with him he’ll be mad at you for not taking his side? Or is it that in your mind your baby son can never do anything wrong?
I have learned over the year not to tell my mother-in-law anything that maybe going on in my huband and my relationship because she has repeated every single thing to him. I thought that I would be able to talk to her to get some insight on him and what he may be thinking or feeling but instead everything that I have told her gets right back to him.
It seems that no matter what my husband tells his mom she takes as truth and then she turns on me! I’ve been banned from her home and when she called to talk to her son and I answered the phone she has been very short with me. Now when she wants to talk to her son she calls him on his cellphone so that and I quote ” She doen’t have to hear my voice”
I have a 24 year old son and I pray that when the time comes for him to marry that I don’t become the mother-in-law fron hell. I want to be that mother-in-law who allow her children to work out what ever problems they have between them. I don’t want to be placed in the middle and I don’t want to take sides.
This is my prayer….
July 6th, 2008 at 6:11 am
Kathy so why did you ignore this question????????????????
2008-07-05 11:00:18
You’re married if I recall…. How many times?
Let me also ask you this how do you like you mother in law? Well…?????
July 6th, 2008 at 7:42 am
Hey Tori. Welcome.
July 6th, 2008 at 9:38 am
That bad huh? WOW….!! guess you can’t talk about it huh? I understand………….
July 7th, 2008 at 7:35 am
Tom ask your sister why she hidin…….
July 7th, 2008 at 9:25 am
Hello to everyone who reads this. I must say that yes! mother-in-laws can be detremental to your health, but also, they can be easy to get along unless they feels the daugher-in-laws or son-in-laws doesn’t seems to be who they are. I do have a good wife, but some things happen along the way and it’s hard for my wife’s mother-in-law to come to grips with it. One thing my wife should understand that she doesn’t live with her mother-in-law and probably never will, so she should continue to get on with her life and don’t worry about the mother-in-law, because ” LIFE DO GOES ON”.
July 7th, 2008 at 3:31 pm
I can really relate to this topic. Some days I feel as though I am dating my mother-in-law because, 1. My girlfriend acts just like her mother.. and its getting worse day after day. And two, because if she is not acting like her mother, she is listening to what her mother is saying do. This topic is so talked about because the mother-in-law usually can make a huge impact on a relationship. Me personally, I do not care for my could-be-mother-in-law. Many days I feel as though she does things to try and get under my skin, but more than that it’s her subliminal comments and her no boundaries. It has at the current moment given my girlfriend about a 13% decrease in the chances of me poppin the question. I more than likely would consider myself a momma’s boy, but have only one parent what else can I be? Sometimes I believe that women think that we men do too much for our mothers, but I know I could NEVER do too much for my mom. When it comes to girls and there mother in law, I think that no matter how much the mother-in-law really does like the wife, the wife will always feel like she is not liked as much as she would like to be.
July 7th, 2008 at 3:53 pm
My beloved Kendall Blake, you are the greatest son in the world!!!
July 7th, 2008 at 3:54 pm
Great post Kendall!
July 7th, 2008 at 4:27 pm
Oh LAWD!!! That is your boy??? What is this place? Mayberry RFD for real????
July 7th, 2008 at 4:33 pm
If I may offer you this bit of advise…..Learn to live with it. Girls need their momma. It’s a good buffer for you Kendall. Let her talk to mommie while you enjoy your fooball game in peace. Women can’t help it they just got to run off at the gibbs. No mater what they got to tlak.
No consider this, it could be you getting all that femine blast. Let her and mommie say whatever. Just be polite and consider that the’re are the “weaker vesssels.”
July 7th, 2008 at 5:42 pm
Hi Weda. Welcome to 7daybuzz.
July 9th, 2008 at 7:22 pm
hey mother-a-law are great when they are out of town! my is in heaven ! please pray for my mother she in hospital very sick
July 9th, 2008 at 7:33 pm
Hi Angela. Welcome to 7daybuzz.
July 10th, 2008 at 12:33 pm
hello everyone. Once again, mother-in-laws are great, but, but too, it is wonderful when they have a strong, loving relationship with your spouse. So, like Angela says, when they are out of town, it’s FANTASTIC!
July 10th, 2008 at 1:35 pm
hi angie…hope your mom is ok….
i did want to ask if you are a mother in law and if so what does your son/daughter in law think about you.??????????????????? (now this outta be good..going to the kitchen for a pop and sum popcorn.)
July 10th, 2008 at 1:36 pm
same question to you as i asked angie
July 10th, 2008 at 2:30 pm
Hello Angie, how’s you mom? I hope that she is having a good recovery.
July 10th, 2008 at 2:32 pm
Angie, I apologize for not adding the right word(your) in the sentence. So once again, how’s your mom and I hope that she is having a good recovery.