Christianity and Birth Control…
Written by:
Kathy Curry)
So we have a teen daughter who is at the stage and age where she is starting to, as the old schoolers say, smell herself. She has a little boyfriend. No matter what you do or say, you can’t be with her 24/7 nor can you monitor her every move. As Christians we know that sex outside of marriage is wrong. As Christians we teach our children that sex outside of marriage is wrong. That is clear and there are no gray areas. But what do we as Christians do when we suspect our daughter of engaging in sex before marriage? One of the mother’s in my church used to say, if they really want to do it, they’ll do it behind a broomstick. In other words, no matter how well you think you are monitoring her, if that hormonal young woman is determine to do it, she will find a place and a way to do it! My question is, do we become proactive and put her on birth control or not?
Reality is, human nature can take the purest of intentions and twist them into something totally different. I think twisting parents’ words and intentions is a teenager’s duty! So do we put our daughters on birth control and possibly have them assuming that is our way of saying we condone premarital sex, or do we stick to Christian principals, ignore what we feel might be happening and pray and trust God for the best?
If you are like me, I didn’t want to raise a grandchild, yet I didn’t want to hand my daughter license to do something I told her was wrong and something I believed God’s word told me was wrong. At some point and time, all of us have faced situations where once the fear of getting caught was removed, we did what we knew was wrong. Well once the fear of getting pregnant is eliminated, what will she do? On one hand you could be a sin enabler and life proceeds as is. No worries of an unwanted pregnancy. On the other hand you could be awaiting an unwanted pregnancy or worse! What do you think? Talk back to me.
| 2.5 |
It’s geared more towards the way of life. At her age, Social life might influence her as well. I firmly believe that world’s religions founded on love for God and other people will object to premarital sex. I pray to God this won’t happen to me. Amen
Hi Ismail. Welcome to 7daybuzz.
I am not a christian, but this is a tough question that all parents have to answer someday. It’s a tough one, and a very personal one. My take is secular, but you wanted feedback, so here goes.
Your faith in your God cannot save your child. Only their faith can. If they don’t believe, they are subject to a different reality. Never assume that the child’s faith is strong enough. If they go wrong, the consequences are theirs to pay more so than yours. I feel it is the job of the parent to protect. Giving bc is not condoning the act, and your child knows that if your involved. They may use that as an excuse, but deep inside they know how you feel.
That having been said, I don’t know how I will deal with it when my time comes. But those thoughts are what have been going through my mind as I prepare for that day. Thanks for the reminder. lol
I have many years to figure this out, but right now this is my take on it. I will employ an approach where I will call on every resource at my disposal to keep this from happening. Remember, at the end of the day we cannot exercise total control over our children.
I will make sure she knows what the bible says about sex before marriage. While doing this I will also let her know that many people are having sex all around us and that doesn’t necessarily make it right. I will also show her statistics concerning STDs, AIDS, single mothers, etc. I will attempt to paint a realistic picture of what impact this could have on her future. Finally, I may still give her birth control.
All of this would be done after consulting her mother (Kim)
This is a very touchy and, not to mention scary topic, for parents (and soon to be parents like me and my husband). Today, we have teen girls making pacts to get pregnant! How scary is that?!!!! Tom and I are in total agreement as to how we will go about trying to prevent this from happening.
I think that the parents should discuss the issue with the child and make sure they have all the information. If parents don’t explain contraception and pre marital sex to the child someone else will, and the child may be told false or misleading information.
Hi polybore. Welcome to 7daybuzz. BTW, nice gravitar.
Hi thanks for the compliment re: gravatar. How odd I wonder why my comment is the only one to be marked down. Is that because someone believes that parents should leave their child’s sex education to TV, film and kids at school. Scary!
polybores last blog post..How to make the perfect quiche quickly and easily.
I’m not sure how old your daughter is but with mine we talked about this issue. Since ultimately it’s my daughter’s life and her body i gave her all the information, she knows my views and i listened to hers and we decided together that she isn’t ready for either sex or birth control. We have a pact that when she feels she is ready she will let me know, we’ll take appropriate measures and i promise not to freak out and respect her wishes. She’s 17 and i trust her to keep her word. That’s how i raised her, now i have to have faith in her as well as what i’ve taught her. Good luck with your daughter, i know it’s tough.
Hi Nessa. Welcome to 7daybuzz.
As the writer of this article, let me say, my daughter is well past this point. She is in her mid twenties. When the time came for us, it wasn’t an issue. When it did become an issue, she was old enough to handle her own situation. When she did engage, she called and told me. I was not happy, because she is not married, but I do appreciate the fact that we had the type of relationship that she felt comfortable enough to talk to me. She is still a young woman without children.
I have other people surrounding me that are coming up to this issue. For years this has been one of those, darned if you do, darned if you don’t subjects. For one family, bc might be just the thing and necessary. For another it might be construed as a green light for promiscuity I just wanted to put it out there. Possible as we all talk about it, the insight gained can help that one mother searching for the answer.
Unfortunatley, you have to rely largly on the principles that your child has grown up with. But there are some things that you can do to make things more difficult such as checking up on your daughter and knowing where she is. A curfew is a good thing too. But in the end, putting your daughter on B.C. is probably not the best option as it is in a way saying that you are ok with her having sex.