Have Our Family Values Been Snatched From The Family?
Written by:
Tom Sawyer)
It is commonly believed that a strong family unit creates a safe, positive and supportive place for all members to thrive. In other words, a strong family unit is able to utilize resources and to live together in a fairly healthy manner. But with the way the family unit is declining, I have a couple of questions for you: Do you think family values have slipped? Or better yet, what exactly makes up a strong family that possesses good family values?
Today I’m concerned about this more than any other day in my life. Today is the day my daughter will be born and I feel the change in responsibility already. I have a former co-worker, who referred to Kim and I as DINKs, which stands for Dual Income No Kids. As you read this, that term is no longer applicable to us! Simply put — one child, increased responsibilities! Obviously, we are the adults in our small family unit, so the responsibilities that go along with raising a child fall squarely on our shoulders.
In a strong family unit, the adults set the tone. They lead by example. They reach out to friends and community and teach their children the importance of doing the same — and that becomes part of who the children are. They work together to solve problems, and they pass their skills on to the next generation. Some important elements of a strong family system are family cohesion, family flexibility and family communication.
Cohesion could be thought of as the feeling of being loved, of belonging to the group and being nurtured by it. A family cannot always be together, and that is a good thing, but the confidence that goes along with being part of that family unit must be there.
Structure in a family is a must or it will become chaotic and will not be a peaceful setting. On the other hand, there must be flexibility or the family becomes rigid and the authority figures become resented. The strong family unit works together to avoid stressful situations and solve problems without blaming, criticizing and finding fault with each other. Families that tend to have a strong spiritual base seem to have a sense of well-being that facilitates this working together in times of stress.
Ever hear the saying, “What we have here is a failure to communicate?” A lack of communication can rip a family apart and destroy them. Things that facilitate communication are the things like family closeness, flexibility, time spent together, spirituality. All members must feel a freedom within the group to express themselves freely.
The leader(s) of the family are looked at for guidance and as role models, both very important. In a family that is parented by a happily married couple, people are able to express themselves more freely. A happy marriage seems to set the tone in the house. It spills over from the family to the community and a healthy family will be reaching out to help others. They do not tend to isolate themselves from the rest of the world. Much of this I learned from growing up, but now I take on a new role.
It will be very important for us is to teach our daughter to make good decisions. If she watches us make well, thought out decisions, there is a better probability of her becoming a good decision maker.
A healthy, happy family benefits our whole society. There are less traditional families than ever before and that doesn’t necessarily signal a negative impact on children. There are single parents out there who do an excellent job raising their children and for taking on the responsibilities of mother and father, they should be applauded.
Are our family values so much less than they once were and if so, what can we do to change them for the better?
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Great post!
So much has changed, even from our grandparents’ time. It seems like when the family Matriarch and Patriarch are no longer around, families disintegrate. Families that were once tight are now so separate over the smallest, most stupid things. Do we automatically forget the values and morals of keeping a family together, when Big Mama is gone? What happened to to “It takes a village to raise a child?” Where I grew up, our block was one big family, we looked out for one another and let no one interfere with that.
I am an only child, so I cherish the fact that my children have one another and both parents in their lives. Family values must be set to and stay at a high standard due to the fact that there are so many families ruined by not upholding their commitment and duties to one another .
In a sad way, as a whole, many of our family values have changed. Much of that is due to lack of communication, as you mentioned. A huge part of that is not wanting to compromise with one another, as well, it has to be my way or no way. When family members do their own thing instead of working together, a bond is broken.
I understand that with today’s economy there is much stress upon us all and it takes a toll on the best of us. Things that we were able to afford with ease are now a luxury. This has torn more than a few families apart because they just can’t deal with financial difficulties well. Pressure to provide for our families, keep food on the table, pay our mortgages has become prominent over what are we going to do together to make this easier on all of us?
Nowadays, I see a lot of parents dropping their parental duties once children become a certain age. I notice this in many children I see around here. Hello? Just because they are able to wash their own butts does not mean they can make good, sound decisions. Why are you not making sure they do their homework? Why are you so wrapped up in your man or woman that you forget you have babies running around? Why are you not checking up on them to make sure they are where they are supposed to be? Why is your elementary aged child walking to and from school by themselves or with a sibling 1 or 2 years older than them? There are some crazy and sick people out here! Wake up and take some responsibility for these kids that did not ask to be here!
You mentioned making good decisions, so your daughter will follow suit. Very imperative point, some of us are not living right, but expect our children to do better. They are like sponges, they don’t forget much and soak up what they hear and see. How you live your life, especially the choices you make, have a huge impact on your children. You can’t get mad at your child for being sassy or disrespectful with their mouth, when you are not proper with yours. If you want to see yourself, look at your children, they are your mirror. I’m not a perfect mother by far, but I’ve learned to see myself through my children’s eyes. It is because of them, I have been able to change many things about myself for the better and am committed to keeping this family from becoming a statistic.
Transgender Contestant to Compete on Top ModelBy Us Magazine
August 13, 2008, 8:38 am PDT
celebs:Tyra Banks
topics: RealityModels
Us Magazine One of the 14 girls who will compete on the new season of America’s Next Top Model which returns to The CW on September 3 is transgender.
“My cards were dealt differently,” Isis, a 22-year-old former receptionist, tells Us Weekly exclusively in its new issue, on newsstands now.
Hailing from Prince George’s County, Maryland, Isis identifies herself as “a woman born physically male.”
Will she be a role model?
“I like to help people, but I’m here to follow my dreams,” she tells Us.
The inclusion of Isis is being hailed by GLAAD president Neil Giuliano as “an unprecedented opportunity for a community that is underrepresented on television.
“We applaud Tyra Banks and The CW for making this historic visibility of transgender people possible,” Giuliano said.
See photos of ’90s Models: Then & Now.
Check out the new issue of Us Weekly, on newsstands now, for exclusive interviews with the new ANTM contestants
The reason our family values have gone down, n part, has to do with us supporting junk like this. If every Christain refused to watch junk like this there wouldn’t be enough support and it wouldn’t be produce in mass.