Can I Please Have My Money!
Written by: Kathy Curry
Ok, so tell me, isn’t it the most awkward thing to have to ask somebody for money they owe you? According to etiquette, what is the proper way to ask for it?
I am getting older, and my memory slips me at times, and maybe I owe someone money, but trust me, not on purpose. If I owe any of you that are reading this, please tell me and I’m sorry.
So here’s the thing. Several weeks ago, April 26th to be exact we had a garage sale. We sold our loveseat to a nearby neighbor. They said they didn’t have the money at the time and in good faith, my husband and I decided to go ahead and let them take it. We agreed they could pay us a little later. When my husband helped carry the loveseat across the street, John (the names have been changed to protect the not-so-innocent) told my husband that they would pay us the next time he got paid. Here we are 14 weeks and nine pays later and not a dime! Is your thought, maybe the still can’t afford it? Ok, but why the new John Deer $75.00 cutesy sprinkle? My sprinkler cost $5.99! And why the new cement bird feeder? I don’t even feed the birds that come into my yard. I leave that to Mother Nature. How can they, with a clear conscious, buy somewhat costly things, things that I can see they have bought and still not pay me my money?
My husband, being my husband, will barely speak to them (yes, they still speak! as if nothing!) and they probably realize he has changed, thus bringing tension to the block. I speak to them and talk to them the same way I did before the loveseat incident. I never want to hurt anybody’s feeling or humiliate someone, but I needed to at least revisit my loveseat dilemma. So here is what I did. I wrote a note and put it in their mailbox. Here is what I wrote:
- Hey John and Jane,
This is an awkward letter to write, because we are neighbors and hopefully friends, but I felt forced. The loveseat…I understand forgetting, and I understand initially not having the money, but it has been several weeks, and I have heard nothing from you regarding payment for the loveseat. $40.00 is not going to make or break me, but I did sell it in good faith. If you haven’t paid for it because, maybe you don’t really like it or need it, I understand that too. We will be happy to take it back. It was my mother’s furniture. She is gone now, so it does hold a little sentimental value and we would probably use it in our garage, if nothing else. But if you are happy with it, great! We just need to finalize the sale! Please and thank you!
Kathy
How’s that? Was I too harsh? This is such a sticky situation that borrowers invariably put lenders in. If you think I dealt with it ok, please tell me so I will feel better. If you think I should have handled it differently, tell me that too, I will try to learn from my mistakes and from your advice.
August 8th, 2008 at 9:58 am
Hmmmmm. I think, for me, it would’ve been a lesson learned. At this point, I would just move on with the understanding that if I was to sell something else and they wanted to buy it, I would get the money up front. I think you gave them the benefit of the doubt and they’ve had ample opportunities to pay. So, now you know you can’t trust them to keep their word.
Kim Sawyers last blog post..Can I Please Have My Money!
August 8th, 2008 at 10:42 am
Your letter was straight to the point and concerned with the feelings of others. Good Job. However…
I think it was your husbands responsibility to just go ask for the money or the couch. Family business, family leader.
My sister in law “gave” us a couch and a fridge one time. This was not the first thing she had given us, so there had been a precedent set. we had it for several years (4-5) and then my boss “cheap sold” $500 couch for $50,me a couch and I gave the sister in law couch to one of my co workers. well my wife informed me that the sister in law was loaning us the couch and it was not mine to give away and they wanted paid for couch.
I was hot… If they were going to sell it ,” tell me up front” not years later. I called my brother in law and we set a price for the couch and the fridge, relationship saved, when I paid.
since then (8 years or so) no more furniture gifts to us. they did GIVE some furniture to my son when he bought his house.
It is not worth the money to lose a valuable relationship.
August 8th, 2008 at 12:29 pm
Kim, that is really wht I had decided, lesson learned, move on but I know how my husband is and if I ever wanted peace (he brought it up often) I knew I had to do something to resolve the issue. He would have continued to not speak to them and make things uncomforatble. By the way, the letter worked! I got my money last night! Each of them thought the other had paid! No hard feelings!
August 8th, 2008 at 12:30 pm
Kent, I agree about the family leader part.
I got my money. They each thought the other had paid! No hard feelings, relationship in tact!
August 8th, 2008 at 1:24 pm
Great post. It was a touchy situation, but you handled it with a litle of class. The letter was very impressive. I’d love to have you as a neighbor!
I often forget things, and I don’t mind reminders, especially if I owe someone. I was going to say maybe the neighbors did in all honesty forget or get sidetracked– but it looks like the situation has been resolved. Congratulations!
August 8th, 2008 at 1:30 pm
Hi Mrs. Mecomber. So many times what seems to be problems, are simply misunderstandings that can be easily resloved. That was the case here. Thank you for your comments! Come to 7daybuzz.com anytime and talk with us!
August 8th, 2008 at 2:39 pm
You were a lot nicer than I would have been! I’m horrible about things like that though. That’s great you got the money. And even greater that your letter was nice enough that it didn’t cause more problems, like any letter I had written would have…
pennys last blog post..So is that a yes?
August 8th, 2008 at 2:52 pm
Hi Kathy,
I would of done the same thing. I thought your letter sounded fine. I’m glad the letter worked for you and you finally got your money. If people owe money, they should pay you back. The couple should of had better communication with each other. Especially when you owe someone money. Take care!
August 8th, 2008 at 3:06 pm
Hi Penny and Robin. Enjoyed your comments! Trying to get money from people that owe you is always a sticky situation. I’m blessed to have come out unscathed!
August 8th, 2008 at 5:25 pm
I think your letter sounds fine. Ummm, I think you owe me money. Do you want my paypal address? Well, you asked! LOL
August 8th, 2008 at 9:10 pm
I think the letter was good and it obviously helped you get the money. If someone does something for me like that it bothers me until I pay for it. It didn’t turn out that way for you, but people throughout society don’t care like they used to. Look at how people say they are going to do one thing and then don’t come through. That’s life.
Tom Sawyers last blog post..Can I Please Have My Money!
August 9th, 2008 at 7:53 am
i say don’t ever have a sell and let someone take something saying they will pay you later. i say don’t ever lend money, (ever) to anybody, because there is always a chance they won’t pay you back, and then you’re the sucker. if you want to just give someone furniture or money, without expecting anything in return, that’s another story. i’m thru, pray my strength in the lord.
August 9th, 2008 at 7:59 am
hey clyde.
August 9th, 2008 at 9:08 pm
That letter was so nice….I wudda just knocked on the door and asked them if they was gonna pay or did that just wanna give it back?
August 11th, 2008 at 6:01 pm
If I was your husband I’d go get the money for you. That ain’t your job……Kathy!